Hello, 2019!

I woke up on the first day of 2019 with a heavy heart. This usually does not happen every new year. But, instead of being excited for the future, I felt more anxious because of the many worries and fears that slowly crept in my mind. What would my career look like this year? What huge hurdles will I be facing again? How will I survive this year, financially? Will I finally be intentional in pursuing my passions? Will my insecurities ever go away?

As I spent the first few minutes of my day with discouraging thoughts, I knew that I had to battle them with truths from God’s word. I sang these lyrics to myself: “Jesus, you’re my firm foundation. I know I can stand secure. Jesus, you’re my firm foundation. I put my hope in Your Holy word. I have a living Hope. I have a future. God has a plan for me — of this I’m sure, of this I’m sure!”.

In the quietness of my heart, I opened up my frustrations to the Lord and asked Him to search me and renew my mind. I spent the next 30 minutes immersing myself in His word, remembering His faithfulness throughout 2018, and trusting that He will continue to be faithful this year.

In my journal, I wrote on only one page that night (which can be seen in the photo below). Usually, I would find comfort after writing my concerns. But, I was encouraged to write down the verses that spoke to my heart and reflect on them instead. I praise God for the peace that He gives. I praise Him because He is with us always, both in the clear and in the unknown.

I still don’t know the answers to my questions and I will probably still be tempted to carry my worries with me. But by God’s grace, I will choose to let them go, trust Him, and say hello to the new day and new year that He has graciously placed in front of me.

Hello, 2019!

Thursday Tune #26: Like I Am by City Harbor

A few days ago, a family friend posted a status on Facebook and encouraged his friends to share a line from their favorite praise and worship song that inspired them a lot. I added a comment and shared a few lines from Steve Green’s song “He Who Began a Good Work”. It is one of my favorite songs because it reminds me of Philippians 1:6 and how God continues to be gracious and faithful in my life despite my weaknesses and struggles.

song

The past two weeks have been quite difficult for me because I struggled with different things. One of the similarities that I noticed among my struggles was how I believed in lies and not in God’s Truth. Unintentionally, I allowed my mind linger on my insecurities, pride, past mistakes, failure in different aspects, and a bunch of other very discouraging thoughts.

It was crazy! But in spite of these, God encouraged me to draw closer to him especially when I don’t feel like doing so because I know that He is the only One who can make my heart right. Every time I got zapped by lies and negative thoughts, I humbled myself before God and lifted up my concerns and struggles to Him. In the process of doing so, He reminded me of a verse in the bible where it says:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” [John 16:33]

It was such a comfort to know that even though we may be attacked by our struggles constantly for the next days, years, and decades, we know that we are already victorious because of Jesus Christ.

“Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [Romans 8:34-35,37-39]

Now, THAT is TRUTH — Truth that I need to hold on to moment by moment. :)

beach

I’ve been listening to a song lately that best captures what was going on in my heart these past two weeks. I hope that you will be encouraged by it too.

“I am not my failures, I am not my flaws
I am not defined by my mistakes, Only by Your love.
But it’s a constant battle to believe what’s true
That Your love is unconditional no matter what I do.”

[City Harbor – Like I Am]

Encourage yourself one tune at a time. :)