Category: Life

Day 365: A Year without Social Media

Exactly one year ago, I had an epiphany while I was driving home from church. I did not want to admit it at first, but the reality hit me. I WAS ADDICTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA (especially, Facebook). However, by the grace of God, I have been able to survive 365 days of not posting on Facebook, which was very difficult for me considering that I have been active online almost every day in the past years. In this post, I’ll be sharing more about what happened and what I learned throughout the year. If you also struggle with an addiction, whether or not it’s social media, I pray that this would be an encouragement for you as it has been a humbling and meaningful experience for me.

THE MOTIVATION

Ever since I signed up on Facebook a decade ago, by God’s grace, I have been using this platform for the good and for His glory. However, things turned sour for me when I let it affect me in many aspects. I saw how I developed this false sense of achievement whenever my posts got more likes, shares, or comments. I noticed how mindlessly being online consumed A LOT of my time (30% of my day), which made me more unproductive. I shared more about this in a previous entry, “When Letting Go Lets You Grow” .

But more importantly, I let this addiction become an idol in my life. It HINDERED me from growing in my walk with God, reading and studying the Bible, pursuing the passions that He has placed in my heart, and finding my true security and joy in Him. Every time I didn’t receive the comment or number of likes that I hoped for, I secretly felt disappointed. Instead of praying for and taking action on the activities that God wanted me to do, I ended up feeling more insecure as I compared my status and life with others.

I remember reminding myself to limit my time online, but there would be nights when I would refresh and scroll through my news feed for hours until I fell asleep. It was crazy! It was definitely an unproductive season in my life! It needed to stop. I NEEDED TO STOP. But, I honestly couldn’t do it on my own. This weakness in my heart motivated me to draw near to God and ask for His help, which led me to having the epiphany that I was talking about earlier.

 

THE CHALLENGE

Last January 2018, our church had a week-long prayer and fasting together. At that time, one of the things I fasted was social media. After letting go of it for 6 days, I noticed how it helped me spend more quality time with the Lord, which I dearly loved. I remember telling God: “Lord, this has been amazing! I should fast from social media more often!” After praying, I felt a strong affirmation from the Lord, “Yes, Nic. Why don’t you fast from social media? FOR ONE WHOLE YEAR.” To which I sincerely replied, “Wait. What, Lord?! One year? Hahaha.”

That surprising conversation with the Lord was the start of a beautiful and grace-filled challenge for me that I never imagined I would do. As I processed the idea the next day, I knew that it was what He wanted me to do for 2018. John 3:30 spoke to my heart at that time which says: “He [Jesus] must become greater; I must become less.” I started fasting from Facebook last January 9, 2018 and I decided to continue fasting from it even after our church’s fasting week. In addition, my fast from Twitter and Instagram followed a week after that.

Before I decided to extend my fast, I asked God: “Lord, what about my blog posts? What about the random, encouraging, or funny posts that I share every now and then – people appreciate it, right? I won’t be able to share those on my social media anymore. Also, I’ll miss out on the updates of people’s lives, on their posts, and on the latest topics!”

As I continued to dwell on these thoughts, I felt the Lord gently rebuke me. “Why are you concerned with these things? You can still post on your blog and glorify me through it, without being fixated on the likes or comments. You can still get in touch with others in person and ask how they are. And about your random encouraging posts, remember that they’re not about you, Nicole. Whatever good others see in you is only because of Me and My grace.”

It was a huge and bitter pill that was difficult to swallow. But by God’s grace, I took that step of faith, updated a few accountability partners, and surrendered my heart and the results to the Lord.

 

THE RESULTS & LESSONS LEARNED

 

1. Letting go of an addiction is not enough. It must be replaced with a pursuit that has greater worth.

During the first two months of the fast, I remember struggling so bad with not being online. There were a few times when I logged into our dog’s Facebook account just to check if people tagged me in posts or photos. Who was I fooling, right? Because of this, I decided to update my settings so that others won’t be able to post on my wall anymore, which would help me avoid being conscious of my profile page.

Also, throughout the last 3 months of my one-year fast, I noticed that even though I had not been active in posting online, I was hooked in watching episodes on Netflix. I realized that it wasn’t enough to just let go of social media. I needed to hold on to what I was pursuing, or else, I would just end up getting addicted to another thing. By God’s grace, the struggle to be offline was real in the past year, but God has been gracious in allowing me to get back up each time I was tempted and to dig deep in my relationship with Him through prayer, the study of His word, accountability, and fellowship with others.

 

2. Having less time online encouraged me to be creative and resourceful in doing productive activities.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says: “So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

I knew that God would be honored if I let go of this addiction and pursue Him and other productive things. As a result, last year, by God’s grace, I…

  • Developed my skills in gardening, photography, blogging, and culinary
  • Composed two full songs and a few songs with pending stanzas
  • Read eight books by Christian authors, which was more than the number of books I read last 2017
  • Wrote a few poems
  • Listened to Chip Ingram’s podcasts on some nights
  • Organized celebrations of family and friends for birthdays and milestones
  • Went up and slept at a prayer mountain ten times by myself to have quality time with Jesus
  • Spent more time having meaningful conversations over coffee and dinner with close friends
  • Attended a workshop on songwriting
  • Had more time to intentionally intercede for others
  • Volunteered as a photographer in our church’s media ministry
  • Sang special numbers on two weddings of my friends
  • Had a weekly bible study with a small group of ladies from the office
  • Met new friends
  • Went on fun and eventful roadtrips with different groups of friends

…and many, many more!

One of the questions my friends asked me while I was fasting was “How can you survive not being online anymore? That’s really difficult to do in our generation.” There’s nothing wrong with being online especially if one’s work or calling is directly connected to it. However, if we are not careful or if we spend time online unnecessarily and it hinders us to grow, then it is wise for us to lessen our time with it or take a break and replace it with more productive things. As I went through the year with more available time on my hands, I was pleasantly surprised with the activities and people God graciously allowed me to encounter in person.

 

3. The measure of a man is not defined by one’s status in society or in the social world. It is based on the identity and security that we have in Jesus.

The greatest challenge for me in letting go of social media was surrendering my desire to look for affirmation and attention from others. This has been a blind spot that God revealed to me last year. Although the things I posted before were sincerely from my heart, I knew that deep down, there was still this longing in me to want more responses from the online world. In fact, I realized that if Facebook did not have any react buttons or spaces where we can add comments, it would not have been that appealing to me. I probably would not have been as addicted to it as I was before.

By the grace of God, He has been renewing my mind and heart as the months passed by. It was refreshing to go back to His word and take into heart who He really is and who I really am in Him. Nothing in this world can ever satisfy the deepest longings of my heart – only Jesus can. He IS more than enough for me. I am loved by my Abba Father. I have been saved by grace. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him and for Him. He is my Hope and my Security. He is my Peace and my Provider. My constant God in the midst of my chaos. My sovereign Lord in all of my struggles. My Rock and my Redeemer.

THE AFTERMATH

At 12 midnight earlier today, I logged into the three social media applications that I fasted from and I was finally able to accept friend requests online. Hahaha. Yay! Hello, friends! Surprisingly, as of the moment, I do not have the urge to post as much as I did last year. In a way, it had a similar feeling to tasting your favorite candy from your childhood, but not having the appetite or desire to indulge in it anymore. It was wonderfully weird.

I praise the Lord for sustaining me as I took this challenging step of faith. I also thank Him for giving me the support that I needed through His word, prayers, and encouragement from family and close friends. Definitely, this principle of “letting go to grow” is something that I would recommend to anyone who is struggling with any kind of addiction. It doesn’t always have to be a one-year challenge (although it really would help remove an unwanted habit). We can always take it one day at a time. Please do pray for me that I will continue to grow in obedience and in my relationship and walk with Jesus this year.

Today is the 13th day of 2019 and I have yet to find out what my next challenge is, by faith. Until then, I’ll see you around… and online too! :)

Hello, 2019!

I woke up on the first day of 2019 with a heavy heart. This usually does not happen every new year. But, instead of being excited for the future, I felt more anxious because of the many worries and fears that slowly crept in my mind. What would my career look like this year? What huge hurdles will I be facing again? How will I survive this year, financially? Will I finally be intentional in pursuing my passions? Will my insecurities ever go away?

As I spent the first few minutes of my day with discouraging thoughts, I knew that I had to battle them with truths from God’s word. I sang these lyrics to myself: “Jesus, you’re my firm foundation. I know I can stand secure. Jesus, you’re my firm foundation. I put my hope in Your Holy word. I have a living Hope. I have a future. God has a plan for me — of this I’m sure, of this I’m sure!”.

In the quietness of my heart, I opened up my frustrations to the Lord and asked Him to search me and renew my mind. I spent the next 30 minutes immersing myself in His word, remembering His faithfulness throughout 2018, and trusting that He will continue to be faithful this year.

In my journal, I wrote on only one page that night (which can be seen in the photo below). Usually, I would find comfort after writing my concerns. But, I was encouraged to write down the verses that spoke to my heart and reflect on them instead. I praise God for the peace that He gives. I praise Him because He is with us always, both in the clear and in the unknown.

I still don’t know the answers to my questions and I will probably still be tempted to carry my worries with me. But by God’s grace, I will choose to let them go, trust Him, and say hello to the new day and new year that He has graciously placed in front of me.

Hello, 2019!

Digging Deep on My 28th Birthday

Last Sunday, I celebrated my 28th year on Earth. Twenty-eight years. I still can’t believe it. Growing up, I used to imagine huge milestones happening in my life past 25 years old. But here I am, pretty much the same younger me, with more responsibilities, new found friends, and broken and grace-filled moments to reminisce on. A colleague asked me how I wanted to celebrate my birthday this year and two things immediately popped in my mind: Time and Words. These are the top two love languages that I treasure the most and I desired to feel God’s love through them on my birthday.

I have this natural desire to help others feel special on their birthdays or on any occasion. I still don’t know why the Lord allowed me to have this trait and yearning in me, but every time it happens, I get fired up! My mind begins to spark with creative ideas. I end up coordinating with people and going the extra mile (sometimes, even literally) to get materials or even cakes and gifts. And on some occasions, by God’s grace, I effortlessly am able to produce songs or poems for family or friends. Just two nights ago, when one of my close friends celebrated her birthday, instead of sending her the usual greeting, I ended up composing a short, three-stanza poem for her which made her cry. Hahaha!

I really don’t know. Sometimes, I do feel that it comes off as being extra, which unintentionally puts pressure on others around me. But another part of me wonders why I become conscious about it, when it honestly just feels like something I was made to do. Whatever this is, I know that it is only by the grace of God that I am able to do this and if it does allow others to feel the love of God, then maybe I shouldn’t overthink. But, if it doesn’t, then, I pray that the Lord would give me wisdom.

The downside, however, of doing and being what I just shared is that, at times, I sincerely wish I would someday get to experience it too. Not on the giver’s side, but on the receiving end. Sometimes, I hope others would also go the extra mile, buy me flowers or a cake, gather family or friends and throw a surprise birthday for me, or intentionally spend time and talk with me over my favorite Frappuccino, without feeling any pressure to do so. It’s not something that I often think about, but it does cross my mind every time I celebrate my birthday. This year, it was a humbling moment for me to realize that because I decided to stay offline (away from Facebook and other social media apps), more people WILL NOT remember my birthday. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, I do cherish moments when people would spend time with me or say words of encouragement to me. So, I thought that less people remembering it meant having less chances of experiencing these two love languages.

As expected, on my birthday, only a few family and friends greeted me. I did feel mini heartbreaks when I realized that some close friends forgot about it. But, at the same time, God graciously humbled my heart and renewed my thoughts and emotions throughout that day. It started when I read Ephesians 6:10-20 in the morning and the Lord reminded me of the importance of putting on the full armor of God. What struck me in the passage was verse 17 which says: “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” It was crystal clear that God was showing me where I should place my security – not in the words of men; but in His words, promises, and truths which are found in the Bible. I also felt the love of the Lord when He reminded me of my worth and salvation in Him.

By God’s grace, starting the day with His word helped me kick off the lies and discouragements that tried to attack me that day. God even allowed me to enjoy spending the first few hours of my morning at one of my favorite places – Farmer’s Market, where I bought ingredients for our family’s dinner later that day. He also gave me the strength to go to church after, despite having a messed up body clock and sore muscles that week. Moreover, even though some of my family members were out of town that weekend, they all made it to my birthday dinner at home!

 

As I was driving from the grocery store to our house before my birthday dinner, I had a moment with the Lord, which went something like this:

“Lord, in a little while, I’ll be celebrating my gardening-themed birthday dinner at home. I don’t know if all my family members could make it, but it would be nice to spend time with them tonight. I humble myself before you and acknowledge that I have been selfish in my thoughts. I wanted others to remember my birthday. I wanted others to greet me with words of affirmation. I wanted everyone and anything else but You, Jesus. Still, You never gave up on me. It’s pretty cool that my birthday theme tonight will be about gardening, remembering some of the vegetables I grew, and digging deep, because that’s what you allowed me to experience all throughout the year! Both in the garden and in my heart!

Because I was offline, you helped me have more time to dig deep in your word while I was at home, in a coffee shop, or in the mountain. You helped me dig deep in my relationships with family members, friends, and colleagues. So, Lord, even though I may not receive the time and words that I originally longed for from others around me, I am reminded that YOU ARE ENOUGH. In fact, it says in Isaiah 40:8 and Matthew 24:35 that YOUR words will never fade away. So, why should I long for others? Lord, I hold on to Your words. Lord, I hold on to You today.”

I ended my birthday singing praises to the Lord, as He filled my heart with joy and thanksgiving. It has been twenty-eight years of brokenness and grace. As long as I am still breathing here on Earth, I pray that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart will be pleasing to the Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Here are some more photos from my birthday celebration at home. I asked my family to dress up as the vegetables I planted and organic fertilizer I used through the years. I have to say, they did a pretty amazing job! Hahaha. Thanks, family, for being intentional in preparing for and celebrating my birthday with me. Introducing: The Corn family, Hot Chili, Gardener, Eggplant, Broccoli, Carrot, and Chicken poop fertilizer.

Oh, and did you notice my healthy Carrot “cake”? :D

(Special thanks to my sister, Camille, for her calligraphy skills and for helping me set-up; Gabo & Monica, for the free Milk tea & for helping me prepare the fruit kebabs; my parents, for sponsoring our main course; and our help Pajean, for taking our photo!)

Through the Fire: 14 Years and Counting

Our family almost lost our lives when our house burned down fourteen years ago. I can still recall how the Lord graciously led all of us out of the house before the roof fell to the ground.

Sometimes, I still wonder what it would be like if we weren’t around anymore, after November 19, 2004. We wouldn’t have been able to: 1) develop the relationships that we have right now, 2) discover skills and desires that God has placed in our hearts, 3) invest in both material and eternal things, and 4) experience God’s faithfulness and goodness the way that we did in the past decade!

Although, I have to admit, there are times when I do long for the day when I finally get to meet God face-to-face and start spending eternity with Him in Heaven. However, only He knows when that would be and as long as He wakes me up each day, by God’s grace, I will choose to seek and serve Him — no matter how difficult the struggles in this life may be. God, being the sovereign God that He is, allows me and my family to continue living here on earth since the fire incident. Indeed, it is a humbling reality!

I’ll be sharing a part of Psalm 71 which reflects what is in my heart as I remember God’s faithfulness today. 

“As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long— though I know not how to relate them all.

I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.

Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God?

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.”

Thank You, Lord, for waking me up today… and for the 14 years (and counting) of being able to know You and experience You in deep and new ways here on earth. 

 

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About Me

My name is Nicole Obligacion and I started this blog because I was inspired by Hebrews 10:24 and Hebrews 3:13. I love to eat, cook, bake, read the Bible, and encourage. :)

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