Two years ago, there was a season in my life where I struggled with going to church (the actual building) for worship. I preferred worshipping at home while watching videos via livestream because it was more convenient for me. Even though we only live a few minutes away from our church!
Later on, I realized that this was mainly because of my insecurities, pride, distractions, loneliness, or tampo towards God in my heart. There was also an intimidating vibe in my mind when I went to the building because I would attend weekly worship services alone most of the time… and I would see many around me with companions, families, or friends! You can just imagine the awkwardness in the introverted me whenever the speaker would say: “Okay, tell the person beside you, *insert title of message or lesson*..” — Eh madalas, wala pa akong katabi!🙈
But throughout those moments, the Lord would convict my heart and remind me that: 1) He looks at our hearts when we worship, wherever we are, and 2) Worship is all about Him! As I spent time with His word and surrendered this heart issue to Him, He gave me the desire to join the congregation in worshipping at church again! He allowed me to see that despite the lonely feeling in my heart, He is with me always and He can use me to serve and reach out to others who are alone or may be feeling lonely at church too.
Every first week of the month, our church celebrates the Lord’s Supper. To help me be accountable to the Lord, I took photos of the bread and juice before taking it and saved each photo on my phone. This served as a reminder for me as I worshipped Him at church, to keep my eyes on Jesus. To remember and thank Him for His love and grace for us, how He died and rose again so we can spend eternity in Heaven, and His resurrection power!
It has been two months since the ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine) started and I can honestly say that I miss going to the church building for our weekly services.😌 But of course, in the meantime, I have the privilege of worshipping and celebrating the Lord’s Supper at home as well. Wherever, whenever, I pray that my heart will choose to worship the Lord!🙌🏼
“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” -Psalms 27:4
