Same Hair, New Me

The longest hair length I’ve had since 2017.

If you know me, you’d agree when I say that I am very particular with how my hair is cut, especially my bangs. This is because I preferred hiding my forehead and ears using my hair. I just didn’t like these features of mine! Whenever I went out and I needed to wear a ponytail for sports and gym or encounter strong winds blow against my hair, I would get very conscious about how I look.

Three years ago, I discovered the hairstylist who could perfectly maintain it for me. Since then, I’ve had my hair trimmed every 3 months ONLY BY HIM. (Miss you, Bruno!)

But this Quarantine, I couldn’t have my hair trimmed anymore and I can’t trust myself or others to cut it for me yet.😨 Also, because the weather in Manila has been extremely hot recently, I didn’t have a choice but to put my hair up and even use this headband to keep my bangs away from my face. At first, I remember feeling so conscious whenever I would attend Zoom meetings looking like this. But as the weeks passed by, I’ve learned to appreciate and be grateful for what I already have — A lovely forehead and two ears that help me hear. Haha!

But seriously, by God’s grace, this big thing that I used to care about and invest in didn’t seem so important this time around — especially when I see how fleeting life is. So, tadaaa! This is the real me… posting as a way for me to help break the cycle of insecurities in my life.🥳 Baby steps, Nic. Baby steps.

(Photos taken yesterday, one hour apart)

Finding Peace in the Midst of Anxieties

I woke up at 4:30 am today feeling very anxious. My mind kept thinking about situations that triggered my insecurities and it caused me to re-visit my past moments of hopelessness and defeat. I began questioning my self-worth in Christ and I felt discouraged that I was struggling with these kinds of thoughts again.😳

I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to wait for the sunrise instead. As I stared at the ceiling, I prayed to God and shared what was in my heart. He then reminded me to look back on God’s faithfulness in my life and start thanking God for the little and big things. I ended up reading an old entry from one of my journals and I came across Psalms 90:13-17. Verse 14 struck me! It says:

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

At that moment, I felt the Lord re-assure me to keep my eyes on Him — the only One who can truly satisfy my heart. Even if I was feeling anxious, insecure, and worthless at 4am…

It was also an opportunity for me to choose Jesus and be satisfied in Him and His unfailing love. Not only in the morning, but in ALL the days of my life.🙌🏼

I went to our veranda and sat beside the window overlooking the sunrise as I listened to Mallary Hope’s song entitled “Me”. In a few minutes, the Lord displayed a playful sunrise right before my eyes. My family was still sleeping (even our dogs) and it was such a beautiful, peaceful, and re-assuring moment between me and my Heavenly Father.🥰 I thanked Him for the anxieties that woke me up at 4am because it led me to having that humbling morning with Him.

Despite not being a morning person, I was able to organize my gardening tools, remove weeds from the container beds, prepare my breakfast, cook ginger tea for my throat, and sang more songs to the Lord. I remember telling God a while ago, “Why do I feel this way, Lord? I have peace and joy and in my heart now, compared to when I woke up! I’m actually smiling now, as I boil ginger in water!” And He immediately reminded me of Philippians 4:4-7. By God’s grace, He made those verses very real in my life this morning and I am even more encouraged to continue abiding in Him and in His Word.

Anxieties may still linger in the coming days or even decades. But, in the midst of these, I am learning that we have a constant, faithful, and loving God who is graciously available 24/7 for us. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can also surrender our thoughts and emotions to the Lord and be victorious over them! He tells us to rejoice in Him always, to be gentle, to not be anxious, and to pray in every situation with thanksgiving! And as we obey, His peace will guard our hearts and minds indeed.

Thank You, Jesus!

Worship Wherever

Two years ago, there was a season in my life where I struggled with going to church (the actual building) for worship. I preferred worshipping at home while watching videos via livestream because it was more convenient for me. Even though we only live a few minutes away from our church!

Later on, I realized that this was mainly because of my insecurities, pride, distractions, loneliness, or tampo towards God in my heart. There was also an intimidating vibe in my mind when I went to the building because I would attend weekly worship services alone most of the time… and I would see many around me with companions, families, or friends! You can just imagine the awkwardness in the introverted me whenever the speaker would say: “Okay, tell the person beside you, *insert title of message or lesson*..” — Eh madalas, wala pa akong katabi!🙈

But throughout those moments, the Lord would convict my heart and remind me that: 1) He looks at our hearts when we worship, wherever we are, and 2) Worship is all about Him! As I spent time with His word and surrendered this heart issue to Him, He gave me the desire to join the congregation in worshipping at church again! He allowed me to see that despite the lonely feeling in my heart, He is with me always and He can use me to serve and reach out to others who are alone or may be feeling lonely at church too.

Every first week of the month, our church celebrates the Lord’s Supper. To help me be accountable to the Lord, I took photos of the bread and juice before taking it and saved each photo on my phone. This served as a reminder for me as I worshipped Him at church, to keep my eyes on Jesus. To remember and thank Him for His love and grace for us, how He died and rose again so we can spend eternity in Heaven, and His resurrection power!

It has been two months since the ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine) started and I can honestly say that I miss going to the church building for our weekly services.😌 But of course, in the meantime, I have the privilege of worshipping and celebrating the Lord’s Supper at home as well. Wherever, whenever, I pray that my heart will choose to worship the Lord!🙌🏼

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” -Psalms‬ ‭27:4‬

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About Me

My name is Nicole Obligacion and I started this blog because I was inspired by Hebrews 10:24 and Hebrews 3:13. I love to eat, cook, bake, read the Bible, and encourage. :)

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