Author: Nicole Obligacion

I started this year with so many anxious thoughts about the future, and doubts on God’s ability and character. This was mainly triggered by how I found my security and joy in the world and in my selfish desires. I wanted to take control of my plans this year. So, when they got cancelled, my heart turned sour. I wanted to be accepted according to the standards of society. So, when there was no progress in my status or career, my world crumbled. But, all throughout this year, despite my stubbornness and unfaithfulness to the Lord, He has remained to be good, faithful, loving, merciful, holy, and gracious still.

 

I recorded a draft version of a song I wrote, which shows the reality of my constant struggles and how the Lord has helped me believe in Him again. But before I share the song, I do want to give you a glimpse of the many thoughts and emotions that I’ve encountered this year. The statements you see below were taken from my journal entries from January to December 2020. It hasn’t always been easy. But, looking back, I saw how the Lord has carried me through the valleys, with his grace and truths in my heart.

 

I pray that as you read through these lines and listen to the song, your heart would also be encouraged to remember God’s faithfulness in your life. Especially during this difficult year! During the past 11.5 months, I’ve had an on and off struggle with believing in God’s goodness and power. But, this past week, He has radically changed my perspective and my heart! Through this, I am reminded that no heart is too messed up for him; no one is greater than Him; and NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH HIM!

 

 

TAKEN FROM MY JOURNAL…

SOME DISCOURAGEMENTS THIS 2020:

1. I get annoyed, cold, and distant when others share Bible verses to me.
2. I don’t have the desire to pray for others anymore.
3. I’m easily triggered and angered by others.
4. I wanted to jump off the balcony this week. But, you stopped me, Lord!
5. I stumbled many times this week — in purity, anger, and other emotional outbursts.
6. Today was difficult because of all the emotions our family faced yesterday.
7. It does rob me of the joy I have in you, whenever I compare myself to others.
8. I’ve been having a difficult time sleeping well this week because of my anxieties.
9. It’s been a few weeks of dry days with you, Lord; of me not spending time with you.
10. Each time I take one step forward, I take 10 steps back, and this discourages me. 
11. Honestly, I still feel stuck in life. I still have trust issues with you, Lord.
12. Loneliness has been bothering me for a few weeks now.

 

 

TRUTHS & ENCOURAGEMENT FROM THE LORD:

1. When I draw near to you, you will draw near to me too. I want to desire You, Jesus, and Your word again! (James 4:8)
2. Thank you for your forgiveness! (1 John 1:9)
3. You reminded me of Psalm 51:17. Thank you for your reassuring love, despite my heart’s condition.
4. In 1 Peter 5:6-7, I’ve been focusing on the casting part, that I forgot to apply v.6 and humble myself under your mighty hand.
5. I am not of this world. You have set eternity in my heart. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
6. I recalled Psalm 139 and remembered that you know all the days of my life.
7. I know you’re with me, Lord, even if I feel your silence sometimes. (Matthew 28:20)
8. God has been, is, and will always be faithful… even if I am unfaithful. (2 Timothy 2:13)
9. Yesterday, you spoke to me through John 16:33. Thank you that I have you in my heart!
10. I’ll keep fixing my eyes on you, Jesus! More of You, less of me. (John 3:30)
11. Thank you for reminding me that I am yours and that nothing can separate me from your love! (Romans 8:38-39)
12. You have been so personal to me, Lord. Thank you for reviving my mind and heart again! You have emptied my heart, only to fill it up again and let your love and grace overflow from it! Let not this overflow be wasted. Please help me keep seeking you and sharing you to others! (Psalm 8:4)

 

 

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26

 

 

 

 

I wrote this song nine months ago after struggling with loneliness. Even then, the Lord was already telling me the same message that he has been impressing on my full heart this week.

 

 

I still can’t get over how gracious our God is. I shared more about the first six highlights HERE. But, in this post, I want to continue honoring Him, as I go through the last six highlights that made this 30th birthday very humbling and special.

 

12 HIGHLIGHTS OF MY 30TH (Part 2)

 

7 – LAPTOP

 

I’ve never had my own before and the Lord knows how much I’ve been wanting to get one. But, since I didn’t have the budget for it, I continued to use an old (and deteriorating) one shared by the family. I didn’t tell anyone about this desire in my heart. But, the Lord impressed it on my sister more than a month ago. Then, as a family, they decided to give me one on my 30th birthday. WHAAAAAT???

What is grace upon grace? Huhuhu.

 

8 – BIRTHDAY MESSAGES

 

Time & Words. My top love languages. To everyone who sent their birthday greetings, photos, and video messages, words cannot express how deeply you have touched my heart and made me feel God’s love.

Also, I even received a birthday doodle from one of my favorite artists (The Land of Boggs). And a video greeting from Mikki, Bettina, and Gummy. Their family’s testimony recently encouraged me so much in my faith. Huhuhu!

Thank you, Ate Camille and Temic for orchestrating everything!

 

9 – SHE KNOWS ME TOO WELL

 

God has blessed me with a sister-in-Christ who has been one of the constants in my life, ever since I met her a few years ago. She sent a detailed and heartfelt compilation of 30 things that she appreciates about me! And really, everything is only by His grace!

What made this more special? This greeting came from someone who doesn’t really enjoy writing. She’d usually rather tell it to me in person.🤪 Plus, the details she wrote really showed that she knows me too well! EVEN the little things about me that not everyone sees. Huhu. So, receiving this meant so much to me! Thank you, Z!

 

10 – MY BEST FRIEND

 

By God’s grace, in the past five years, He has allowed me to journey through the hills and valleys of my life with this one. I really wasn’t expecting anything from him. But, for my 30th, my best friend gave me a photo album that had 30 special memories from 2015-2020, what he appreciates about me, photos, and 30 bible verses that were valuable in our friendship, through the years.

What made it more special? His effort!! In going back to our oldest documented conversations and my old online photo albums, printing them, manually cutting and putting them together, thinking of specific ways to encourage me through words, etc. But more than these, I was deeply moved because I saw how God graciously built our friendship on His Word. I didn’t realize it then. But wow, Lord! What a huge blessing! Also, thank you, H!

 

11 – PEACE IN THE MIDST OF PAIN

 

My ear infection was so painful and was such a hassle during the week of my birthday. But, the Lord provided for my needs. My dad is also an EENT doctor, so I didn’t need to go to the hospital in the midst of a pandemic.

Even this seemingly bad situation, God has used for the good. Through this, He reminded me of finding my true security, contentment, and joy in Him alone. And how I should always be grateful for what He has already given to me. Also, you can just imagine how much I appreciate being able to hear now! The little things I take for granted.

 

12 – 30TH ORIGINAL SONG

 

“VICTORY”

I wrote my 30th original song, just in time for my 30th birthday.♥️  Talk about God’s perfect timing and funny humor. This song shows a glimpse of His faithfulness in my life, in the past three decades, in spite of who I was / am. The song title was inspired by our victorious God and by the meaning of my name (Victory of the People).

On my birthday, I shared it to the world because of my desire to let others know who Jesus is and how much he loves us!

 

WHEW! If you’ve reached this far, thank you for joining me in this journey! This 30th birthday has been an incredibly beautiful and humbling reminder from the Lord… that He sees us, He loves us, and He is with us always.

Whatever it is that you’re going through right now, whether you’re in the hills or in the valleys, may you find your hope in Jesus. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

 

To the Lover of my soul, my Lord, and Savior… JESUS, words cannot express how grateful I am for you. Any good in me is only because of you and your grace in my life. With every breath that you allow me to take, I pray that I may bring glory to you! For those who are reading this blog, Lord, I humbly ask that you would also continue to work in their hearts and allow them to experience the depths of your love, faithfulness, and grace each day. For those who do not have a personal relationship with you yet, I pray that they will also accept you as their personal Lord and Savior, and find true joy, peace, and satisfaction in You alone! Thank you, Jesus! In Your Name I pray, Amen.

 

“Hear these praises from a grateful heart!

Each time I think of you, the praises start.

I love you so much, Jesus!

I love you so much.”

-Heritage Singers

 

Psalm 8:4 “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”

In my previous entry, I shared more about what went on my mind a few days before my birthday, and how the Lord spoke to me. In this post, I will be sharing the first six highlights of my 30th birthday, that showed how personal, gracious, and loving God is. I pray that as you read through it, you will be encouraged to get to know Jesus more and His love, truths, and promises for you. :)

 

12 HIGHLIGHTS OF MY 30TH

 

1 – EARLY SURPRISE

 

One of my dearest friends surprised me with a Grab delivery of Starbucks a day before my birthday! She knows how much I love it. She was also my coffee buddy back in the office, for many years. What made this more special? Her thoughtfulness and effort as she is currently living in Japan, many miles away from me!♥️  Thank you, twin!

 

2 – MILK TEA TREAT

 

My cousins from L.A. surprised us with our favorite milk tea drinks!! Huhuhu. They didn’t know that a week ago, I was already planning on treating my family with milk tea on my birthday. Thank you again, Kuya Macky and Ate Nikki!

 

3 – MEAT PIZZA FROM HASSAN

 

I wanted homecooked shrimps, tacos, pesto pasta, and Hassan’s meat pizza for my birthday dinner. But, I decided not to order from Hassan anymore, so I can save money. Without me telling anyone, my cousins and inaanak sent me a box of meat pizza from Hassan that afternoon!!! Of all the items on the menu. Grabe si God! Thank you, Kuya OB, Ate Leah, and Tristan.

 

4 – TROPICAL THEME

 

I didn’t tell anyone that I was hoping to have a Tropical vibe for my birthday. I also didn’t know that my older sister had already ordered the supplies and balloons way before my birthday! So, I was surprised to see the fancy decor at home! Moreover, my gorgeous birthday cake had a sunset & beach theme. HOW PERFECT for someone who’s a sucker for sunsets and beaches. #amazingGod

Decor (Party Station Phils.) and Cake (Sweet Creations by Mums)

 

5 – ZOOM PARTY

 

Both my sisters (in the PH and in Hawaii) organized this intimate Zoom party which included a funny game (Pera o Bayong), honoring part, gift giving, and a closing prayer led by dad! My immediate family celebrated with me online! THE EFFORT WAS INTENSE. They blocked off their time for me too! :( I can’t even describe how much I felt loved through this. Thank you, family!

 

6 – “NOT OF THIS WORLD” T-SHIRT

 

Ever since I discovered this sticker from a Christian store that says “Not of This World”, I’ve had a radical change in perspective of my life here on earth. This isn’t my home forever. We were made for eternity with God in Heaven. So, anytime I feel discouraged, I remember the security we have in Jesus! I even bring the sticker everywhere with me and take random photos with it as a reminder for me!

AGAIN, I didn’t know that the Lord had impressed on my older sister’s heart to make a t-shirt with that logo!! She even contacted the artist and paid for royalties for a one-time print! Now, I’m literally the only person in the world who legally has this kind of t-shirt. HUHU. What a personal God!

 

My heart was already overflowing with love and grace from God! But, guess what? There are six more highlights of how personal He was this week! Such grace!

I shared more about the next six HERE. :)