When I was still a kid, one of the biggest insecurities that I had was how my thumbs looked like. For more than a decade, I disliked my thumbs and thumbnails, since they were smaller than the usual thumbs others have. As I am typing this, I am literally laughing out loud because it does sound funny to be insecure about such a small thing. But, I remember how badly affected I was before, especially when others teased me about it. I felt so conscious when others saw my hands and I rarely took photos of my hands through the years. But eventually, God helped me focus more on important things that helped me slowly accept how He made my hands.
As I was scrolling through photos on my phone this evening, I saw my thumb again and I remembered how insecure I was because of it. Then, I had a random thought that I whispered to God: “It’s so interesting how I struggled with my thumb before and how now, You’ve allowed it to become such a huge part of my life, especially when it comes to having a green thumb! You are funny, Lord!”
In that brief moment with the Lord, I felt His reassurance as He showed me what it would be like if I continue to let go of my insecurities and what others think of me. He then reminded me of sooo many other things that He has allowed me to do through the years because of my thumbs. By God’s grace, He has helped me easily bake, cook, play the guitar, do photography, play sports, drive, and hold things wherever I went. Also, He reminded me that whatever I have right now is really because of His grace, and that at any moment in my life, He can easily take them away, if He wants to.
If others didn’t tease me growing up, I wondered if I would still feel insecure about my thumbs. I probably wouldn’t have felt as bad as I did. But, looking back, I realized that the real issue wasn’t because others teased me. It was because I was finding my security and worth in how others viewed me, instead of finding them in Jesus and His love for me.
After that, there were more events in my life where I gave in to my insecurities. Also, even as I type these things now, I remember all the other insecurities that I’ve been holding dear to my heart. In any case, the Lord reminds me that as long as I am still breathing, it’s not too late to keep surrendering these to Him. It’s not too late to ask Him to continue changing my heart, as I go back to the truths in His Word and apply them in my life. Whatever the Lord allows me to have or experience is enough to fulfill the purposes that He has for my life… and this includes my lovely thumbs! Woohoo!
I thought of sharing this anecdote with you, in case you’re dealing with insecurities too. I pray that you will also choose to find your security in Jesus, even as you go through your own personal struggles. Even if the process of surrendering to Him takes a day or a decade, we can find comfort in His presence, sovereignty, and in knowing that His goodness and love for us will never change. :)
“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.” – Psalm 139:16