Who vs. What

I just spent the last 3 and a half hours searching for the best instant waffle mix and doughnuts in town. But sadly, after driving and walking around, I ended up going home empty-handed.

After leaving the office, I had in mind the specific brands of waffle mix and doughnuts that I wanted to buy for tomorrow. I wanted to treat my officemates with extra snacks like crisp waffles and delicious doughnuts (since it was my birthday yesterday). I dropped by the supermarket near our house because I thought that they were selling the brand of waffle mix that I wanted, considering that it is quite a huge store. However, when I got there, the customer service informed me that they didn’t have stock.

I panicked because I already told my officemates that I would bring the waffle mix to the office tomorrow. I then started to call two other supermarkets near our place and asked if they were selling the brand that I wanted. I even used the payphone in the grocery store to call the other supermarkets. (Talk about effort!) But, somehow, God didn’t allow me to purchase that specific brand. None of the supermarkets near our house were selling it.

I bought the next best waffle mix and left the supermarket. I then decided to go to the mall instead because I thought that even if I didn’t get to buy “the best waffle mix”, I would at least get to buy the best doughnut treats before going home.

I briskly walked towards the doughnut shop after parking in the mall and eagerly lined up. When I was already near the cashier, one of the staff members suddenly announced that there were no original glazed doughnuts anymore. “WHAAAT??? You must be kidding me.” I thought to myself.

My spirit was crushed because I wanted to buy those doughnuts. I “needed” to buy those doughnuts.

Because I was already desperate, I decided to search for the next best doughnut store in the mall. However, since I didn’t know where it was located exactly, I ended up going back and forth, and up and down the different floors in the mall. Also, the directions that I got from the different guards I talked to just made it worse, since they contradicted each other.

When I finally saw the next best doughnut store for me, they didn’t have much doughnuts left. At that time, it was already 9:30 in the evening; my body was tired and sleepy; and my heart was very much discouraged. I decided to drop by the food court before going home and got myself an order of siomai and bola-bola siopao (my dinner).

I then started to write on my journal and tell God about my night so far. I wanted to ask God a lot of questions and say tons of things, but my heart led me to write this instead:

“I just feel so tired now and am kind of sad because I ended up not being able to buy what I wanted – what I thought was the best. But, Lord, I just want to thank you still because you’ve shown me how my 3-hour experience is very much similar to how I’ve been living the life that you’ve blessed me with. I try to go through the day and make decisions immediately, without even consulting you first. Sometimes, when I do get to consult you, I end up saying “Please, Lord…” or “Would you… Lord…” And it’s so ironic because I call You, “Lord” over and over again, but I still choose to take control of my life. Sorry that I forget what matters most in life – You, Jesus.”

I realized that God could have easily provided the doughnuts and waffle mix that I wanted today, but he didn’t. And I guess it’s his way of reminding me to remember who He is in my life even if He doesn’t give me what I prayed for. I think that it’s His way of encouraging me to seek Him more than the things that He can give to me.

Many times, I find myself being tempted to get frustrated or disappointed with God especially when He doesn’t answer my prayer requests or give the things that I ask for. But, God gently rebuked me tonight and encouraged me to trust in Him as I find satisfaction in WHO He is and not in WHAT I have (e.g. material things, achievements, relationships, etc.).

Before leaving the food court, I read Psalm 17 and was encouraged by verse 15.

“As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness;
I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.”

Even without having “the best doughnuts” and “the best waffle mix”, I went home with peace and joy in my heart. God knew exactly how to comfort me tonight and I praise Him for His grace.

Encourage yourself one treat at a time! :)